By 2050 India will be the Top Economy

That’s from this morning’s ‘Times of India’. These are predictions made of M/s Knight Frank and Citi Private Bank, who say that the GDP of India will be of 86 Trillion Dollars (USD).

Makes us all feel proud that, if not we, at least our children/grandchildren can cock a snook at the Chinese and say, “We are the Best.”

I, of course, wont be around but hopefully I’ll get to hear the cheering.

If you thought that sounds good, here are a few more headlines from today’s ‘Times’.

Ready? Here we go!

1. Bangalore costliest Indian city to live in.
No quarrels to that. If one pays bribes day-in, day-out, what can one expect. Besides, if tax payers’ money is spent carting bus loads to swank resorts, how else could we have earned the tag. And it’s been a long list, right from Pensioner’s Paradise, Garden City, IT City, Knowledge Capital, and now, ‘costliest city.’ Someone forgot “murderous city”.

2. Abducted Bangalore jeweler found stabbed to death.
And guess what the murderer took away? Rs. 2000/- and a gold chain. Life’s become that cheap, eh? By the way, the cops haven’t got any clues as yet, and that ought not to surprise anyone. They are catching up on their reading of Sherlock Holmes.

3. Narayana Murthy (co-founder Infosys) is among 12 “greatest entrepreneurs of our time.”
His name figures along with the likes of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who at the present moment, is holidaying with his Chinese girlfriend in Shanghai.

4. Angry Government in bind over Army Chief, who was supposedly offered a 14 crore rupees bribe by a truck manufacturer.
And the Defense Minister tells the Army Chief, “shucks man, why don’t you nail the bugger?” And the Army Chief probably something like, “Ah, forget it, Mantriji. After all it’s 14 crores; that’s small change.”

5. Sasikala, once the darling of Tamilnadu Chief Minister, disowns kin for Jayalalitha.
This is called “loyalty”. She kicks her family in the butt and says, “I have never dreamt of betraying the CM. Now, bugger off all of you. And you there, take your filthy hands out of the kitty, Machaan’ that belongs to Jaya Akka and me.”

6. Former Punjab Chief Minister Beant Singh’s assassin, Balwant Singh Rajoana has been let off, albeit temporarily.
He was to hang on 31st March 2012. He says he wants to die, but the Akali Dal government that rules (if that’s the right word to use) Punjab say, “no, no; you can’t die. We have some unfinished business.” Arree Baba, the man has served nearly 20 years of his life behind bars and wants to die. So what’s bothering you guys?

7. Maoists make Fresh Demands.
After abducting 2 Italians recently, they released one of them, Paolo Bosusco, who, I presume is safely back home and stuffing himself with Spaghetti Bolognese. The other chap, Claudio Colangelo, is still a hostage and probably crying out “Mama Mia” which the Maoists mistook to be abusive language aimed at their Ammaji and probably why they refuse to release him. Meanwhile, the Orissa government says, “the new set of demands are being examined by our special panel of surgeons and doctors,” and a decision will be take if surgery is required or not after tests reports are made available.

8. The BBMP to construct necklace road. (Whatever that means).
The Asian Bank offered BBMP a loan, but they refused it saying, “We don’t need it. We have enough chains snatched in the last 10 years to use as raw material for the necklace road. So, piss off.” The BBMP say the new road will link up to the Bangalore International Airport from Yelahanka Lake via Yelahanka Town. Did you say, “Yelahanka Lake?” When the BBMP makes roads in and around the vicinity of lakes, etc, one better watch their driving. Or, at least ensure you know (a) to swim and/or (b) keep the inflatable tube in the boot. Don’t forget the pump to inflate the tube, or else you’re a goner.

Boy, am I going to miss all that fun of the 2050′s?

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